A Journey of The Heart

In all my years of teaching children…I learned the most from the journey I took with my own…

I was a piano teacher and in love with my work; so much so that I had decided to open a school. I was convinced nobody could bring teaching music to the table better than I could! That school in one year grew to 500 students! I just started to expand into Manhattan. I was beautiful, young, filled with energy and married to my true love. I thought I had the world at my command.

Then, with no plan whatsoever, I became pregnant. I thought “of course, this is the next and final step to make our lives complete.”

I should have realized that this would be no ordinary kid. I should have realized that when, on 9/11/2001, the twin towers fell in New York City, that everything would fall with it. At that time, I was 9 months pregnant with my handsome soldier… I was afraid for the future of the world that I was bringing him into. But it never occurred to me that, just like those towers, my world would be destroyed, devastated, and forever changed.

I thought I could teach anyone anything. So, I had resolved to teach my son, Kevin Troy, everything I knew about everything.. I would read him Shakespeare and play him Chopin and Debussy, he would be brilliant, unlike any other child.

But then…as months went by, my child, who I loved more than anyone can possibly love any one person, stopped progressing. The words that he knew, started to disappear. The loving looks and the hugs…..stopped. Even his ability to walk…stopped. One evaluation after another became darker and more devastating. No-one could give me a straight answer. My child who once hugged and sang and said “Mom” and “juice” fell silent and only made occasional groaning sounds.

Countless visits with Neurologists, psychologists, special ed teachers, physical therapists all resulted in shrugs and question marks.

It was one afternoon in my living room with a psychologist that changed our lives. He gave me news that my heart knew, but my ears didn’t want to hear. Kevin had AUTISM. I knew.. Not that it helped but now it had a name. When he left I sobbed silently and held him.

There was nothing in my world that could have prepared me for this journey. There is nothing I would give up for having been blessed by the path, a dark, very frightening lonely path that God chose for our Souls. I am quite convinced that Kevin Troy is my spiritual teacher and he has broken my heart to let in the light from his own.

Now it is my destiny to share this light.

with all my love and the light from my heart to yours, I invite you into my journey.


Mary Annine

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